The only country that could invade America is America! 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Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body. He was a true outspoken man that we can emulate in many ways. Im not sure silencing people or forcing them to alter their speech is the best method for solving problems that go much deeper than speech. Nothing changed.George Carlin, Well, if crime fighters fight crime and firefighters fight fires, what do freedom fighters fight?George Carlin, I think its the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately. When youre born you get a ticket to the freak show. And fight songs. Some people have no idea what theyre doing, and a lot of them are really good at it. George Carlin, 42. The poor are just there just to scare the shit out of the middle class. They spend billions of dollars every year lobbying, lobbying, to get what they want. It will not be with jack-boots. I think the life cycle is all backwards. var gptAdSlots = gptAdSlots || []; } Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. Every now and then you find yourself in a different place. George Carlin, 31. We and our partners use cookies to Store and/or access information on a device. 50 The Alchemist Quotes To Make You Follow Your Dreams, 195 Best Cobra Kai Quotes (Seasons 1 5), 70 Attack On Titan Quotes That Will Inspire Greatness, 37 The Lion King Quotes Filled With Powerful Life Lessons, Your email address will not be published. We just believed everything. Im talking about the real owners now the real owners. "Government want to tell you things you can't say because they're against the law, or you can't say this because it's against a regulation, or here's something you can't say because its a.secret; "You can't tell him that because he's not cleared to know that." Government wants to control information and control . Couldnt you just skip the praying part and go right to His Will? And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid." George Carlin "Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity." George Carlin function(a9, a, p, s, t, A, g) { The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other in opposite directions. George Carlin, 87. What really ought to be said after one of these so-called tragedies is, Let the scarring begin.George Carlin,When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? Maybe this time itll work. George Carlin, 59. So, I dislike and despise groups of people but I love individuals. The planet is fine. I have certain rules I live by. We can afford to cut defense; we cant afford to cut education. Its all very confusing.George Carlin, People are wonderful. If holy people are so interested in politics, government, and public policy, let them pay the price of admission like everybody else. Like the boogie man. Carlin, who was known for spewing critical rhetoric against the government, organized religion and big business, first delivered the quote during his 2005 HBO comedy special, Life Is Worth. You will do things in the name of a group that you would never do on your own. All day long beating you over the head with their media telling you what to believe, what to think and what to buy. The upper class: keeps all of the money, pays none of the taxes. Laugh until you gasp for breath. But there is an I in independence, individuality, and integrity. George Carlin, 14. The planet is fine. Property is theft. Just because you got the monkey off your back, doesnt mean the circus has left town. Pointing out the things which are influencing our society badly with humor is not an easy task to do. Im not sure thats the way to fight discrimination. October 29, 2004. George Carlin is a Grammy-winning American stand-up comedian, actor, and author. The Grammy-Award-winning star of 14 stand-up comedy specials on HBO, George Carlin was widely considered one of Americans most influential comedians. And fight songs. Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough not to quit. They want more for themselves and less for everybody else, but I'll tell you what they don't want: They don't want a population of citizens capable of critical thinking. Tell people theres an invisible man in the sky who created the universe, and the vast majority will believe you. function q(c, r) { Im sure it made the work seem that much more urgent. George Carlin, 27. We dont even know how to take care of ourselves; we havent learned how to care for one another. Men are often so foolish as to boast and value themselves upon their passions, even those that are most vicious. Some of our partners may process your data as a part of their legitimate business interest without asking for consent. Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it. var gads = document.createElement("script"); Every day we present the best quotes! His critical thinking shines on stage and opens your eyes to modern-day problems that most folks are oblivious to. there's no such thing as rights. The people are fucked.George Carlin, A good motto to live by: Always try not to get killed.George Carlin, Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.George Carlin, I think I am, therefore, I am I think.George Carlin, Everyone smiles in the same language.George Carlin, People who say they dont care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they dont care what people think.George Carlin, Conservatives want live babies so they can train them to be dead soldiers. What if I want to have a crappy day?George Carlin, Not only do I not know whats going on, I wouldnt know what to do about it if I did.George Carlin, Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.George Carlin, So, have a little fun. There is only a short pause before the next horrifying event. They will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience." - George Carlin 2. Every person you look at; you can see the universe in their eyes, if you're really looking. When you die, it all stays here. url = "https://s.gr-assets.com/assets/mobile/phone_images-9e9093f0cfddba8c2b1e815375d976a3.css"; That's the problem." "Bipartisan usually means that a larger-than-usual deception is being carried out." " Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity ." if (window.csa) { They will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience. George Carlin, 2. They want obedient workers, people who are just smart enough to run the machines and do the paperwork. But he loves you. Were so self-important. Enjoy! Please dont forget to subscribe to ourRSS-feedor followInspirationfeedonTwitter,Google+,andFacebook! In America, anyone can become president. Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesnt mean the circus has left town. George Carlin, 23. The Strange Afterlife of George Carlin - The New York Times If honesty were suddenly introduced into American life, the whole system would collapse. (?) Thank you! googletag.pubads().setTargeting("sid", "osid.b75ee1b4ab41ae6cecc3e4c769a5b3df"); [CDATA[ The game is rigged and nobody seems to notice. It's a big club and you ain't in it. And a list of people they're going to visit at 3am. born on May 12, 1937, And far from staying to the safer path, he leapt time and again past the cliff of common wisdom, in the hopes of rattling us into questioning the way we live. They own all the important land. "Governments don't want a population capable of critical thinking, they want obedient workers, people just smart enough to run the machines and just dumb enough to passively accept their situation." George Carlin Read more quotes from George Carlin Share this quote: Like Quote Recommend to friends Friends Who Liked This Quote //]]> 3140. All random, all undetected, no way to trace them to me. Life gets really simple once you cut out all the bullshit they teach you in school. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid." 2. Thats the problem. George Carlin, When fascism comes to America, it will not be in brown and black shirts. Because theres no money in that problem. Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist. That is against their interests. v. Pacifica Foundation, in which a 54 decision affirmed the government's power to regulate indecent material on the public airwaves (wikipedia). Its so fuckin heroic.George Carlin, The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.George Carlin, If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?George Carlin, I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? George Carlin "The planet is fine. Famous and remained in the controversies for his dark comedy and the reflections on politics, religions, and social taboo, Carlin is considered one of the most influential comedians of all time. On The Simple Solution To Parenthood's Most Difficult Question "Parents are burning these kids out on structure. "Events.Namespace": "csa", If its true that our species is alone in the universe, then Id have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little. George Carlin, 37. ' George Carlin, 30. }()); Laugh until you gasp for breath.George Carlin, The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity.George Carlin, Honesty may be the best policy, but its important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.George Carlin, People always tell me Have a nice day. Well what if I dont want to? George Carlin > Quotes > Quotable Quote (?) A.src = t; In America, anyone can become president. Save the trees, save the bees, save the whales, save the snails. Authors. Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. George Carlin, 39. Maybe this time itll work. George Carlin, Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointedidealist. George Carlin, Never argue with an idiot. But did you ever notice that we have no war on homelessness? Aw, hes a comedian. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. We cut education, in 50 years, well be so stack with idiots with shitty jobs that we wont have enough money to pay for defense! George Carlin, 85. Keep em showing up at those jobs. George Carlin, 81. Comedian We havent tried that for a while. Why not Despair, Guilt, Rage, and Grief? The Grammy-Award-winning star of 14stand-up comedy specials on HBO taught us the power of words and how a person can use humor as a weapon. People forget there is such a thing as memory, and that when a wound heals it leaves a permanent scar that never goes away, but merely fades a little. We havent tried that for a while. Every now and then you find yourself in a different place. And if you do any of these things, he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever, and suffer, and suffer, and burn, and scream, until the end of time. My first rule: I don't believe anything the government tells me. googletag.pubads().disableInitialLoad(); Now you can finally see what made George Carlin the dad tick. While some of his views may not be popular among the masses, he does make an interesting point when it comes to government. Life is not measured by the number of breath we take, but by the moments that take our breath away. Deal with it. George Carlin, One can never know for sure what a deserted area can look like. George Carlin, A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff. George Carlin, I dont have pet peeves I have major psychotic fucking hatreds. George Carlin, Some people see the glass half full, others see it half empty. }); //]]> Let me know in the comments below and please share this post. Dont look for it. I think that speaks for itself. If you can connect with theseGeorge Carlin quotes, subscribe to our blog so that you dont miss a single post. return null; Have you ever wondered why Republicans are so interested in encouraging people to volunteer in their communities? died on June 22, 2008, George Denis Patrick Carlin was an American stand-up comedian, social critic, actor, and author. It's what our system produces: Garbage in, garbage out. And, let me tell you, theres nothin like it. I think people should be allowed to do what they want. Inspirational George Carlin Quotes 1. window.Mobvious.device_type = 'mobile'; George Carlin's Estate, via HBO. Im not sure thats the way to fight discrimination. googletag.pubads().setTargeting("surface", "mw"); Source; . The less said about it the better. George Carlin, 38. He was the second onComedy Centrals list of top 10 American comedians in 2004, posthumously awarded theMark Twain Prize for American Humor in 2008, and ranked second in number on the list of the 50 best stand-up comedians of all time by Rolling Stonemagazine in 2017. Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. Be happy with what youve got, because the owners of this country dont want that. Whether you agree with him or not, Carlins views are definitely worth considering. Because he was a genius, and here are 11 quotes that prove it: 1. var googletag = googletag || {}; _Q: [] Whether we agreed with his acerbiccommentary or not, his words always reminded us of how sharp a weapon humor can be in slicing through the surface of our assumptions and leaving us, as he would say, gasping for breath.. Igor is a SEO specialist, designer, and freelance writer. Pictures. George Carlin Philosophy, Real, Lying 192 Copy quote I've set my own rules to live by. 87 Best George Carlin Quotes On Education, Politics & Life 'Cause pretty soon they have little hats. We would love to hear your thoughts, so dont be shy and comment below! Carlin certainly aimed to provoke, but its the why and how of it that made him so exceptional. I've set my own rules to live by. 100 George Carlin Funny Quotes On Religion, Stupid People Thats exactly what I want you to think. George Carlin,Brain Droppings, Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Carlin was noted for his black comedy and his thoughts on politics, the English language, psychology, religion, and various taboo subjects. And when you suspend your individual beauty you also give up a lot of your humanity. I mean, life is tough. Goalcast is an inspiring community for achievers dedicated to helping you improve all aspects of your life. And apparently Im not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions.George Carlin, Im completely in favor of theseparation of Church and State. These two institutions screw us up enoughon their own, so both of them together iscertain death.George Carlin, I dont have pet peeves I have major psychotic fucking hatreds.George Carlin, I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, Wheres the self-help section? She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.George Carlin, If your kid needs a role model and you aint it, youre both fucked. George Carlin,Brain Droppings, Its important in life if you dont give a shit. Save the planet? Quotes by George Carlin One of the most iconic comedians of all time. But again, because of the small budget, in science class we couldnt afford to do experiments in order to prove theories. Its so fuckin heroic. George Carlin, 18. Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough not to quit. George Carlin, 21. We all need to let loose and laugh at things once in a while and making other people laugh as well as think and find meaning behind your jokes is an exceptional talent George Carlin has. And the supreme arrogance? Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body. George Carlin, 45. War is rich old men protecting their property by sending middle class and lower class young men off to die. googletag.cmd.push(function() { 2023 Inspirationfeed. I think TV remotes should have a button that allows you to kill the person on the screen. Period. Tell them the paint is wet, and they have to touch it to be sure. So, I dislike and despise groups of people but I love individuals. var ue_t0=window.ue_t0||+new Date(); The planet is fine. If the parent corporation doesnt want you to know something, it wont be on the news. Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. George Carlin was one of the most iconic comedians of all time and he had a lot to say about government. George Carlin > Quotes > Quotable Quote - Goodreads.com Its totally FREE. Some people see the glass half full, others see it half empty. These George Carlin funny quotes on religion, government, and stupid people will make you laugh as well as think about things deeply. Its no secret that George Carlin was a bit of a political philosopher. They own everything. They own everything. Keep in mind, the news media are not independent; they are a sort of bulletin board and public relations firm for the ruling class-the people who run things. Its because volunteers work for no pay. return cookiePair[1]; Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn't mean the circus has left town. The politicians are put there to give you the idea you have freedom of choice. Think of how stupid the average person is, and then realize that half of them are stupider than that. George Carlin, 40. Laugh often, long and loud. Your dog thinks you're a god. Never argue with an idiot. Its never just a game when youre winning. George Carlin, 7. In this blog post, weve compiled some of his most compelling quotes on the subject for you to consider as well! How are YOU going to tackle today? They should be more vivid. American It is one that we need to function as a society. George Carlin was an American stand-up comedian, actor, social critic and author. Here are some of our favorite George Carlin quotes on politics. Your cat thinks the dog's an asshole. It will not be with jack-boots. It always has been. He was an American standup comedian. Nothing is mentioned, though, about cursing a lack of candles.George Carlin, When someone asks you, A penny for your thoughts, and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny?George Carlin, The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.George Carlin, Life gets really simple once you cut out all the bull shit they teach you in school.George Carlin, I have as much authority as the Pope. 125 George Carlin Quotes 1. Weve learned how to make a living but not a life. Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music. George Carlin, 4. stylesheet.type = "text/css"; The only person who is with us our entire life is ourselves. You go to grade school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a little baby, you go back into the womb, you spend your last nine months floating and you finish off as an orgasm.George Carlin, Scratch any cynic and you will find a disappointed idealist.George Carlin, I do this real moron thing, and its called thinking. Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time. 383 talking about this. His jokes were certainly aimed to provoke others but the hows and whys of it made him so exceptional. Here we are sharing a collection of George Carlin quotes on religion, government, and life for you to think deeply about the things you have never done before. Governments dont want a population capable of critical thinking, they want obedient workers, people just smart enough to run the machines and just dumb enough to passively accept their situation. (function() { If you would like to change your settings or withdraw consent at any time, the link to do so is in our privacy policy accessible from our home page.. Yeah, I know, youre thinking. George Carlin was one of the most well-known and beloved comedians of all time. Theres no present. The owners of this country know the truth: Its called the American dream because you have to be asleep to believe it. George Carlin, 83.Theres a reason education sucks, and its the same reason it will never ever ever be fixed. 3. The first one is: 'Never believe ANYthing the government says.' George Carlin Believe, Government, Rules To Live By 48 Copy quote Tell people an invisible man in the sky created all things, they believe you. The people are fucked. George Carlin, May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house. George Carlin, Some people have no idea what theyre doing, and a lot of them are really good at it. George Carlin, Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. George Carlin, We have multiplied our possessions but reduced our values. We have multiplied our possessions but reduced our values. George Carlin Quotes - Facebook Republicans have been trying to get people to work for no pay for a long time. 21 George Carlin Quotes On Government And Politics Do share your thoughts with us in the comment section and tell us which one was your favoriteGeorge Carlin quotesor if you want to ask any questions or have any query send them viaContact Us. George Carlin, The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. Laugh until you gasp for breath. George Carlin, 3. "Never argue with an idiot. var e = document.createElement("script"); e.src = "https://m.media-amazon.com/images/I/41mrkPcyPwL.js"; document.head.appendChild(e); "Everyone smiles in the same language." ~ (George Carlin). " George Carlin "Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist." George Carlin "I, myself, have killed six people. He believes that knowledge can change the world and be used to inspire and empower young people to build the life of their dreams. George Carlin quote: I have certain rules I live by. My - Lib Quotes George Carlin Quotes on Religion, Politics, Government & Life - Goalcast So arrogant. I love individuals. if(cookiePair[0] === name) { George Carlin > Quotes > Quotable Quote - Goodreads Maybe this time itll work. Its interested in its own power. Conservatives say if you dont give the rich more money, they will lose their incentive to invest. Or, at the very least, it will be slanted to suit them, and then rarely followed up. Try spelling Evian backward. May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house. return true; The 531+ Vicious Quotes Page 5 - QUOTLR In fact, George Carlin had some pretty interesting things to say about government. The first one is: 'Never believe ANYthing the government says.'. 50 Best John Mulaney Quotes For Every Comedy Fan, 13 Best Writing Tools for Inspired Authors, 30 Of The Best Dale Carnegie Quotes on Having a Great Life, 45+ Enlightening Quotes and Pieces of Advice, Inspirational & Spiritual Quotes From (365) Days of Tumblr, 40 Progressively Inspirational Sevenly.org Quotes, 45 Inspiring Quotations That Will Change The Way You Think #2, 5 Tips To Keep In Mind Before Hiring a Therapist Online, comedy about a singer who pretends to be a nun, friday funny motivational quotes for work, funny quotes about stupidity and ignorance, george carlin don t sweat the small stuff, george carlin on god the planet and the freak show, george carlin sayings that don t make sense, i dont want nobody fucking with me in these streets, positive funny inspirational quotes for work, quotes about getting screwed over at work. var ue_sn = "www.goodreads.com"; Electricity is really just organized lightning. I often warn people: Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, There is no I in team. What you should tell them is, Maybe not. Cause pretty soon they have little hats. The reason I talk to myself is because Im the only one whose answers I accept. Well, we know what they want. The only person who is with us our entire life is ourselves. George Carlin, 33. Famous quotes on life, death, politics and of course the American government. But once youre born, youre on your own. "I have certain rules I live by. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid. They never mention that part to us, do they? George Carlin, 50.
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